In this episode of Crossover Battles, we’ll pit two grunts from two different universes against each other. Please welcome the Imperial Stormtroopers from Star Wars, and the UNSC Marines from Halo. But before we can commence our battle, we need to learn our contestants’ stats. So here we go:

Contestant 1: Stormtrooper

In this corner, we have the Imperial Stormtroopers of the Galactic Empire!

Imperial Stormtrooper.
So bright! My eyes bleed!

The average Stormtrooper is a human in a white suit of plastoid armor over a black body glove. It’s actually very similar in concept to the clone troopers’ armor. The only visible differences are in helmet and armor plating design, really.

Clone trooper.
See the resemblance?

Stormtrooper armor isn’t just for show though. The armor will protect the user from harsh environments (with specialized variants providing better protection from specific environments), and even protect against glancing hits from blaster rifle bolts. Blunt force impacts are another thing though, as the Ewoks (AKA: little furry b*stards) and others demonstrated. The gaps in the armor can also be penetrated by blades and other thin weapons.

Cute Ewoks decimating hapless Stormtroopers.
Fancy weapons and hokey space tech are no match for a good knife and clubs.

Stormtrooper helmets are actually pretty useful. In addition to head protection, they also filter air coming in through the intakes, enhance vision, provide communications, and even contain a HUD (heads-up display) to provide augmented reality for the user. Huh, now I want one of these.

Cross-section of Stormtrooper helmet.
Not as fragile as some might think.

The standard weapon of the Stormtrooper is the E-11 blaster rifle. With 100 bolts in the standard magazine, and enough power to knock out a Sandcrawler with precise shots, it’s a fine weapon overall.

E-11 blaster rifle.
A very trusty weapon indeed.

Stormtroopers have used other weapons though, including repeating blasters, heavy blaster rifles, scatterguns (basically shotguns), and grenade launchers. Some also had training to use some more specialized weapons like rocket/missile launchers and disruptor rifles.

Stormtroopers taking and returning fire.
In the end though, nothing beats the good ol’ E-11.

Lastly, Stormtroopers have a utility belt for holding other equipment. One of which is apparently a grappling hook. It’s useful for allowing these fine Imperial troops to scale buildings and other high places. Or for allowing one cocky farm boy to swing across a gap carrying a princess in tow.

Luke Skywalker swinging across a bottomless pit with Leia in tow.
Nothing like stolen equipment to make a rescue more dashing.

Contestant 2: UNSC Marine

In the other corner, we have the underdog: the Marines of the UNSC (United Nations Space Command) Marine Corps!

UNSC Marine staring at you in the face.
He’s seen it all, save for glaring white armor.

Similarly, the average UNSC Marine is as a human wearing UNSCMC armor. In a much less blinding color though, you admit.

A fireteam of UNSC Marines.
You know the drill: Hoo-ah!

UNSC Marine body armor consists of M52B armor plating attached to some kind of black vest, which is then worn over battle dress uniform. The plates are lightweight, yet surprisingly durable, able to take a lot of damage before buckling. They also come in different colors and variants for different environments.

UNSC Marines from Halo 1 to 4.
The evolution of the Marine armor.

The helmets of UNSC Marines, in addition to providing head protection, also contain a radio and a HUD. They can also record visuals and audio for others to later examine. You know, if you’re dead.

Close-up of UNSC Marine face.
“Say what now?”

The standard weapon of the UNSC Marine is the MA5 assault rifle. Fed by a 32-round magazine and firing 7.62mm armor-piercing bullets, these are fairly effective weapons in spite of their primitive nature. MA5s can also mount underbarrel grenade launchers and shotguns to augment their firepower.

MA5D.
Nothing like a trusty slugthrower.

In addition, Marines use the M6 12.7mm pistol as a sidearm, giving them a devastating close-range weapon. They’ve also used submachine guns, battle rifles, sniper rifles, shotguns, flamethrowers, grenade launchers, rocket/missile launchers, and even laser weapons. Well, laser weapon. And it’s pretty rare to boot, but it packs a wallop.

Spartan Laser.
Except for maybe a laser cannon.

The Battle

As always before a fight, we need a proper announcer, so without further ado:

Redshirt rumble!

Before we start this battle of redshirts though, we need to properly prepare the fighters and field.

Both Stormtrooper and UNSC Marine must be of equal skill in order for this to be a fair fight. Both sides must also have similar equipment for each combatant. Otherwise, one guy with a sniper rifle will definitely win against a guy with a blaster pistol.

As for the battlefield, I’m thinking a ruined city would serve as a perfect one for Stormtroopers and UNSC Marines alike. Both in terms of how much cover and concealment there is for both, as well as fitting both their motifs. And to make it fair, both fighters will start out of line of sight of each other. So, let’s begin:

Scenario: Ruined City

Ruined cityscape.
Fallout, is that you?

Immediately, we can see that one combatant is at a severe disadvantage. Seriously Stormtrooper, what made you think a pure, brilliant white was a good color for a soldier? Sure, it makes you instantly recognizable to the people you’re oppressing, but it also makes you the same for your enemies. In contrast, the standard armor of the UNSC Marine is an olive green color. True, it doesn’t exactly match the surrounding ruined buildings, but it’s a lot harder to spot than bright white.

As a result, the UNSC Marine is much more likely to spot the Stormtrooper, even with the latter’s vision enhancing helmet. No amount of vision enhancement compensates for that eye-searing white. Thus, the Marine will more than likely get the opportunity to get the first shot in, complete with a muttered “Who the hell wears white into battle?”.

The MA5 is much more primitive weapon than the E-11. By Star Wars‘ standards, the MA5 would just be a more effective slugthrower. However, such weapons are still effective even in the Galactic Civil War era, mostly because most everyone uses blasters. Stormtrooper armor is designed to resist blaster bolts, but as the Ewoks and others demonstrate, it’s of little use against physical attacks. Thus, the MA5 has a high chance of simply punching through the plastoid armor. Since the human underneath is as fragile as a human from the UEG, they’re very likely to die from that first shot. Even if they don’t, the Marine can just finish off the cripple Stormtrooper with more bullets.

Thus, I firmly give the match to the UNSC Marine. A combination of high Stormtrooper visibility combined with inadequate armor against the wrong type of weapon wins for the day for our plucky Marine.

A saluting and happy UNSC Marine.
Salute the brave hero!

Conclusion

UNSC Marine wins against Imperial Stormtroopers any day. Sorry Finn. White is not the new olive green, and slugthrowers still have a place in a galaxy far, far away. Looks like those Tusken Raiders have a good thing going.