White Men Can’t Jump Throws Up A Brick [REVIEW]

If you are familiar with my reviews, you know, for the most part, I am not anti-reboots of old films and TV series. So, when I learned Hulu was remaking the classic 1992 film, White Men Can’t Jump, I actually thought it was the perfect background to update it for a new generation.

The original film stars Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson as Sidney and Billy. The two men live two completely different lives but are brought together by the hustle and love of basketball. Sydney is charming, and Billy is widely insecure. The two men are drawn to each other because they understand each other. They both know what it’s like to be an outsider. They both know what it’s like to struggle. And they both know what it’s like to find solace in the game of basketball.

The original White Men Can’t Jump is a powerful story about friendship, redemption, and the power of the game of basketball.

THE NEW WHITE MEN CAN’T JUMP COMPLETELY MISSES THE MARK

The new White Men Can’t Jump is a brand new take on the film. The characters are different, the storylines are different. There is barely anything about this film that is reminiscent of the original film outside of the title and streetball.

I’ve been a huge fan of Sinqua Walls since his time on Friday Night Lights, as well as Shark Night. Remember that hilarious shark movie? Anyway, I’ve been waiting for his next breakout moment and thought White Men Can’t Jump would be his time to shine. While the overall film is terrible, Walls does his best to carry the mediocre script and Rapper Jack Harlow as his scene partner. It’s sad to see that both he and Harlow have zero chemistry in the film. Without it, the entire crux of the storyline is dead.

Speaking of which, the storylines chosen for the leads in White Men Can’t Jump are interesting, to say the least. Somehow they are both uninteresting and outdated. Jack Harlow’s Jeremy is a basketball star who wrecked his knees. Now, he’s trying to save up money for stem cells like he’s Jimmy Brooks in Degrassi. Sinqua Walls is a high school basketball star who was close to being drafted into NBA but was arrested his senior year for punching a racist in the face.

Now, the two partner up to win money in a couple of big basketball tournaments. These basketball scenes are supposed to stand out. They’re supposed to be hilarious and full of streetball ribbing, and jokes. This is where the brotherhood bond starts and is solidified. However, while they keep a couple of nods to the original, the script feels more like they tried to write a drama that the studio didn’t like. So, they shoehorn in a few jokes here and there that just don’t land.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE WOMEN?

One of my favorite things about the original White Men Can’t Jump is the relationship between the women. They are both strong, independent women who support their men but are also not afraid to stand up to them when they need to. They both understand the hustle and aren’t afraid to ask for what they want. The new version of the film does a disservice to these characters by giving them such small throwaway storylines. As a result, the film loses a lot of its heart and becomes more about the game of basketball than the relationships between the characters causing this version to continually fall short.

In the end, the overall script simultaneously does too much, but also nothing at all. It’s incredibly unbalanced and isn’t quite sure what it wants to be. I’m honestly shocked at how far off the mark this ended up being.

White Men Can’t Jump hits Hulu on May 19, 2023. Comment and let me know what you think.