Gossip Girl – Episode 7 – Once Upon the Upper West Side [RECAP/REVIEW]

Back in August, HBOMax’s Gossip Girl, after a mediocre reception, decided to go on a 3-month long hiatus leaving fans with questions and cliffhangers. Finally, the series is back and better than ever!

Since the Gossip Girl reboot’s release, fans have been pretty disappointed due to the lack of character development, bad fashion, and lack of earned drama. After all,  if you’re going to take us back to the Upper West Side you have to do it right. And now It seems the showrunners and writers have listened to the fans’ critiques. Coming in hot during Thanksgiving, we have new characters, obvious reshoots, and so much more. Gossip Girl is back and oooooh girl, you will NOT be disappointed.

GOSSIP GIRL SPOILERS AHEAD – YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Let’s begin our recap where the series left off pre-hiatus. Zoya and Obie are fighting. Julian and Obie are making out after a protest. And Max, Audrey, and Aki are finally diving into the thrupple world that we all deserve. Honestly, episode 6 is the most Gossip Girl episode of the entire first half. The writers had a lot of work cut out for them and they have delivered.

ZOYA – JULIAN – OBI

What a messy web these 3 have weaved. It turns out Julian and Obie did more than just kiss. With a very artsy sex dream, we realize that yes…Julian and Obie slept together unbeknownst to Zoya. Will they tell her? Will Obie break up with Zoya? OF COURSE NOT because Julian can’t make up her mind and Obie has the guts and personality of a potato. So, what does he do? Obie takes Zoya to the most romantic spot in Central Park and tells her he loves her. Because yes, that’s the correct answer.

Afterward, Julian comes to yell at him and they kiss again! However, this time they’re seen, a photo is taken, and of course, sent to Gossip Girl. Is this really how Zoya’s going to learn about their betrayal?

AUDREY – MAX – AKI

Audrey’s mother, Kiki, is home from the facility hoping for a night of normalcy. Aki’s mother is still incredibly supportive of his coming out as bisexual. However, there’s still a strain on Aki and Obie’s friendship that his mother can sense. So, of course, she offers some motherly advice to talk to his friend about the situation and clear the air. Max’s father, Gideon, is still having a very difficult time with the separation. Understandably so. I can’t imagine being told by the person who’s supposed to love me that they’re not attracted to who I’ve become. So, Max sends out the SOS message to his birth mother to help aid in this Holiday parent trap. 

Max’s birth mother is played by one of my favorite actresses, Lucy Punch (Ella Enchanted). Flying in like the magical unicorn she is dawned in fur and wearing a hat that costs more than my car. She brings so much energy and life into the show that I really hope she sticks around for a while. Gideon is carrying all the interesting parent character weight. It’s nice to add someone else to the mix. 

The Audrey, Aki, and Max threesome has left Audrey and Aki in a weird place because they can’t stop seeing the other person with Max. So, what’s the solution? According to Max, they need to just be together for a while, but neither of them like that solution leading to some wild sexy time in the school’s chapel. Because of course. 

OMG THE SEX SCENES

These sex scenes are something that the show wholeheartedly heard the complaints about and said, “you want artsy, HBOMax worthy sex scenes?! You got ‘em!” Because OMG they did not hold back…in a very tasteful way. Yes, these are high school students so no one wants a full-blown adult sex scene. However, if you look back at the original Gossip Girl or any other show in The CW, they never shied away from these moments as the reboot has previously. Now, the reboot has its own. Through flashbacks of the threesome, the sex scenes are artsy and on an HBOMax worthy level. When I say these moments made me blush, scream, and gasp that’s putting it lightly. Bravo, Gossip Girl. You nailed that…pun intended.

THE TEACHERS AKA GOSSIP GIRL

Oh, the teachers. Ms. Keller aka Gossip Girl and her minions received a video from Max. What was this video? Oh, just one of him having sex with his teacher, Rafa. In this episode, Rafa has blocked them from the Gossip Girl account and is blackmailing the teachers by threatening to out them as Gossip Girl if they don’t find dirt on Max. The mental gymnastics this man goes through justifying his actions with Max to them so he doesn’t look like a predator is astounding. This was one storyline no one wanted or asked for. So, I’m glad that by the end of Thanksgiving dinner it’s fully wrapped up with Rafa quitting, accepting his actions, and moving on.

THANKSGIVING DINNER

Zoya’s father, Nick, is hosting a Thanksgiving dinner that all our major players end up attending – including Ms. Keller and fellow teacher, Mr. Glassberg. In pure Gossip Girl style, this is the messiest dinner on the planet and I am here for it. 

While having the most unconverted conversation about Zoya deciding to have sex with Obie (since you know he loves hers) Julian confesses about the two of them sleeping together. Aki’s mother forces a confrontation with Obie about how weird he’s been since Aki was outed. In true Obie fashion, he fully makes Aki’s coming out about himself. Personally, I also think Obie has issues with Aki being gay in general, but that’s for another day. 

Aki, in order to pull attention to a different subject, outs the fact that he and Audrey are sleeping with Max. Max’s fathers are also there having their own Holiday drama. Then Zoya’s father Nick and Julian’s father, Davis have the ultimate confession about why they hate each other.

When their mother was having Zoya, she and Davis had been separated for a year. However, he was still her husband since the divorce wasn’t final. Davis went to the hospital and told them not to let anyone else in. So, Nick wasn’t there for the birth of his child or able to see his wife again before she died. Talk about a truth bomb. This moment answers so many questions I have had since day one. I am so glad it’s more than Davis had drug issues and their mother cheated. This story choice adds a layer of depth I have been begging for.

THE CLIFFHANGER

To cliffhang the episode, Julian and Zoya are disowning each other – no surprise there. That’s been their entire story all season. However, Aki mentions a voicemail from his father saying to stay away from Julian for a while. And, on top of that, Davis’ girlfriend now fiance confesses to Ms. Keller that she’s unsure if David proposed out of love or so she can’t TESTIFY AGAINST HIM IN COURT! What?!?! 

Let me just tell you. When I heard that I leaped from my couch flabbergasted. You have hooked me in Gossip Girl. It took you 7 episodes, but man you’ve got me now. 

Make sure to check out Gossip Girl on HBOMax and return here to That Hashtag Show for more reviews!