Fans can and will continue to debate the merits of the Star Wars sequel trilogy for years to come. The general consensus, however, is that Episode VIII was too subversive, and Episode IX too bloated in its attempt to appease fans. There’s no question that the Star Wars fandom is a tough one to please. There is new vindication for those criticizing the sequel trilogy, though. It is now a settled matter of law that The Last Jedi and The Rise of Skywalker are both “schlocky” and “mediocre.”

Rise of Skywalker; Last Jedi; Star Wars
Finn constantly screaming Rey’s name may have been a contributing factor to the court ruling. (Image: Lucasfilm Ltd.)

Yes, you read that correctly. Both films will forever, legally, be deemed schlocky and mediocre thanks to the 9th Circuit Court of the United States. The case in question involved claims against ConAgra Foods, Inc. for allegedly labelling Wesson Oil as “100% Natural.” The problem for the plaintiffs, you see, is that at the time the cooking oil was so-labeled, ConAgra no longer owned it. The Court ruled that ConAgra had no responsibility for the labelling, and that’s where The Last Jedi and The Rise of Skywalker oddly come into play.

Judge rules The Last Jedi, The Rise of Skywalker, schlocky and mediocre

Kelly Marie Tran; Canto Bight; T
Rose and Finn reflect on the galaxy’s social disparity in Star Wars: The Last Jedi. (Image: Lucasfilm Ltd.)

Thanks to Screen Rush, we have the text of the Court’s decision. Circuit Court Judge Kenneth K. Lee ruled that “ConAgra Foods no longer owns Wesson Oil, so they no longer have the power to make that kind of call…. ConAgra thus essentially agreed not to do something over which it lacks the power to do.” He then went on to compare the situation to George Lucas’s sale of Lucasfilm to Disney:

“That is like George Lucas promising no more mediocre and schlocky Star Wars sequels shortly after selling the franchise to Disney. Such a promise would be illusory.”

That reference included a damning footnote to clarify his reference, adding “[a]s evident by Disney’s production of The Last Jedi and The Rise of Skywalker.”

Rise of Skywalker; Star Wars
Riding space horses on the hull of a Star Destroyer was, in hindsight, indeed schlocky. (Image: Lucasfilm Ltd.)

So there you have it, folks. The 9th Circuit just dropped the mic on the Star Wars sequels. And not for nothing, Judge Lee threw some serious shade at the prequels, too. Read it again: his statement talks about Lucas promising “no more mediocre and schlocky Star Wars sequels.”

Cleary the Judge was not a fan, and courtesy of the Judge’s ruling, it’s now legally official. The Last Jedi and The Rise of Skywalker: mediocre and schlocky thanks to the matter of Briseño v. Henderson.

Source: Screen Crush