Star Wars: The Five Worst Scenes of the Saga

#2: Angels on Tattooine, Episode I – The Phantom Menace

Young Anakin had some painful dialogue in The Phantom Menace, but none stand out more than his first, fateful meeting with one Padme Amidala. Everything about the awkward line, “Are you an angel?” makes me realize exactly why women travel in packs. Honestly, had he finished the terrible pick-up line with something like, “Are you an angel? Cause it looks like you just fell out of Heaven.” I could have gotten on board with that!

Between that line, all the cheesy pod racing dialogue, and the forever-quotable, “This is so wizard, Ani!”, the whole script writing for and around young Anakin Skywalker was a galactic dumpster fire. If it weren’t for Darth Maul and the Qui-Gonn/Obi-Wan duel, I might have quit the saga right then and there.

#1: Angry Luke on Ahch-To, Star Wars: Episode VIII – The Last Jedi

I tried hard to not make this number one on my list. I couldn’t help myself, it was such an awful reaction that I had no other place to put it. Luke Skywalker, the last hope of the galaxy, is handed the most famous light saber in the entire galaxy and asked to save us. He then proceeds to pitch it over a cliff to the Porgs. I get the idea of a reluctant hero, a jaded warrior, the whole life-of-solitude thing after what Luke experienced. If you want to know why fans are “toxic” over this, to used a coined phrase, it’s because the hero all of us old fans looked up to as kids took those feelings and tossed them into the abyss with his father’s light saber.

In the end, he tried to live up to his moniker by sacrificing himself for the Resistance, but by that point in the movie, it was too little, too late. All I could think of him at that point was an angry old dude drinking green milk straight from a sea cow teat. From this point on, all his exploits were dead to me.

However, the best line from all of Star Wars was uttered in this movie, and it’s the truest thing ever spoken in our galaxy far, far away. I remembered thinking this leaving the theater after The Last Jedi ended:

“This is not going to go the way you think.”

Luke Skywalker

It sure didn’t. You ain’t just-a whistlin’ Dixie there, my friend.