How Not To Get Eaten By Ewoks, And Other Star War Survival Tips

Have you ever wondered whether or not you’d survive in the galaxy far, far away? And no, Star Wars fans, we’re not talking about making it through the day at Disneyland’s Galaxy’s Edge. We’re talking full on, avoid attacking Ewoks, survival. Well, now, thanks to author Christian Blauvelt, there’s a handy guide to help you through.

With his new book How Not To Get Eaten By Ewoks, Blauvelt tells you how to “avoid social faux pas and physical dangers” while making your way through the Star Wars universe. Blauvelt, if you’re familiar, is also the author of Be More Yoda and Be More Vader. He unveiled this new book at this past weekend’s Fan Expo Canada in Toronto. His latest Star Wars offering takes stab at the mysteries of Star Wars survival. From handling encounters with Force users to surviving an exploding Death Star, there’s a little something for everything.

Surviving Ewoks and other Star Wars dangers… with a sense of humor

“The sense of humor in Star Wars is so unique… so matter of fact…. there’s something so richly textured about that. To me it’s the ultimate in deadpan humor. That’s just the way it is. When you pick up this book it’s that same kind of mentality.”

~Christian Blauvelt on writing How Not To Get Eaten By Ewoks

A prime example is a section of the book, with a pie chart, no less, listing the various means of Hutt punishment. Wall decoration, incidentally, constitutes only three percent of the ways in which Jabba could impress upon you his disappointment. At least a Rancor will probably kill you more quickly than Ewoks.

With tips on high society and dress codes, gambling perils ( a lot of math is involved), and “”how to spot a spy”, Blauvelt dives into every Star Wars nook and cranny you can imagine. Notwithstanding, he’s not stopping there. He has two other new books on the way, giving a Star Wars spin on the otherwise bland self help genre. And, of course, he’ll help you survive attacks from Ewoks, should you find yourself in such a situation.

Chrisitian Blauvelt’s How Not To Get Eaten By Ewoks hits bookshelves September 24.