Why Is Everyone Ignoring How Chewbacca Was Going To Kill and Eat Han in Solo: A Star Wars Story?!!?!!!

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Uh, Spoilers and stuff,

Whatever your feelings towards Solo: A Star Wars Story, the movie is officially cannon now and tells us how key moments in Han’s life went down and with the Blu-Ray just around the corner, I wanted to explore one of the most confounding parts of the film.  One moment in particular, the meeting between Han Solo and Chewbacca, is a scene in which these soon to be old friends meet and fight each other. It’s the modern version of a meet-cute and despite the prev 30min, it’s kinda fun. However, during a recent fight club incident with my cousin, I realized that in the scene, Han is fighting for his life because Chewbacca is trying to kill and eat him. Yeah, That’s right.  The Chewie we all know and love (bandoleer wearing, Default Dejarik Champ) almost EATS intergalactic rogue hero, Han Solo!!  Now, why isn’t anyone else suddenly bothered by this?! He refused to eat Progs, but he almost KILLS and EATS Han Solo!!!!!!

The scenario breaks down like this… Beckett gets the Imperial Lieutenant to send Han to “Feed him to The beast.” We soon find out, that Chewbacca is the so-called beast.  Right there, we know that the Imperials are using Han as food or at least a supplement for a regular meal. The next thing is Han is tossed in the pit by two Imperial Stormtroopers, one says, “Havn’t fed him in 3 days” and the other replies, “Should be fun.”

So, we know Chewie is Hungry.

A little bit about Wookie biology here. They are similar to humans in many ways, except of course, they are  fromt he planet stronger, mostly taller, live 3 to 4 times longer, and are very furry. Like Humans, they are omnivores.  They hail from the planet Kashyyyk, which is very earth like, covered in dense foliage and Forrest. Wookies have claws they can use to climb trees, but it’s a big no-no in Wookie culture to use them for anything else, especially to harm someone. Outside of theri famously bad temper, they are an intelligent species.

A little bit on human biology, we can go 3 weeks before we die of starvation. After the 4th or 5th day, temper, anxiety, and discomfort can cause ill effects that can cause mental instability. According to a close personal friend and an amazing woman who once worked in a Zoo and studied animals (Hey, Babe!), A wookie could last longer than a human for many reasons depending on it’s health. Originally, this bothered me because my theory here was that Chewbacca was starved to point of craziness when about to eat Han… but then I realized something better/worse- Chewie is fully cognizant and has all his faculties as he is about to eat a human being. Gross. That’s F’d Up, man.

Look, we know that Wookie’s have a temper and might be famous for ripping people’s arms out of their sockets when provoked. But eating them?! That’s cold, man.

Back the main event. Han falls to the pit and Chewbacca shows up and howls at him, Han shoots first, as he is want to do, by tossing mud at Chewie’s face. Why he doesn’t try talking to him here in Shyriiwook (Wookie native language), I’m have no idea- but it’s too late for that the fight is on! Chewie than grabs Han and slams him against pipe, than to the floor and basically wipes the mat with him. It’s also good to point out the place is muddy and there are puddles everywhere, so we can assume that the water must be mostly drinkable. Chebacca has Han in a choke hold until the human squeazes out and flips around. Then he bites Chewie. Yeah, HAN bites CHEWBACCA… Chewie just stands up as Han bites him hard, Spits something out!  Hair? Skin? Mud? It’s all gross to think about.More Han tossing Chewie around while the guards say, “kill him slower!”

Now, I don’t want to reach here, but this could be interpreted as Chewie has killed other prisoners before, but I’m just gonna imply that and not base it on anything.

Here comes the big moment.  Chewie is on top of Han pushing him into the mud, seemingly to drown him. Just as Han is about to be covered and sufficate he draws a last breath and talks to Chewie in his native tongue, Shyriiwook. They work together and free themselves and escape… yadda yadda.

But what if Chewie had pushed Han into the mud faster?  What if Han had been knocked out by one of the the many blows Chewie fell upon him? What if he didn’t speak Chewbacca’s language?

Then I propose that Chewie would have sufficated Han in the mud, than eaten his body for nourishment, if not immediately, than once he had been sufficiently starved.

Again, we know Chewbacca hasn’t eaten in three days… maybe he’s had a womp-rat or something he found in the sewer… but from what we know, Chewie is at the very least hungry. The causal orders for Han make it clear he is to be food for the Wookie, the intent is there… But would Chewie have gone through with it?! He did get guildted out of a Porg dinner many years laster, but that is an older, wiser Chewbacca.

Looking at the fight, Chewbacca’s motives are vague. Sure, he comes at Han with a huge roar, but my cat used to hiss at my brother’s underwear drawer… so, that doesn’t tell us anything. Except maybe my brother had a terrible secret he kept in his underwear drawer. Maybe Chewie was just establishing dominance or saying “stay on your own side” Han MIGHT have translated this had it been real words. Was Chewie crazy with hunger at this point? Probably not… but maybe he WAS!! an was also still wearing Imperial Armor, and Chewie hates the Empire for what they did to his homeworld and his people, so he might have eaten him out of anger. When Chewie has Han’s head in the mud, it sincerely looks like he is about to kill Han… To Han, the excited troopers, and the audience we are made to believe this might be Han’s final breath…  but then what?! We might never know. Except we do. We all do.

Chewbacca Was Going To Kill and Eat Han

 

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