STAR WARS: Happy Independence (From The Empire) Day!

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The Fourth of July is kind of a big deal here in America. It’s the day we celebrate our independence from an oppressive regime, often with feasts, gatherings, parades, and of course, fireworks… just like on Endor, and just like the citizens of the galaxy celebrated the Empire’s fall at the end of (the Special Edition of) Return of the Jedi.

Only…

Except for Endor, they didn’t celebrate like that. At all. Sorry, George. Here’s why.

Assuming the celebration on Endor happens immediately following the second Death Star’s destruction, or even a couple hours later, the likelihood that such news would travel galaxy-wide in that short a time period, and that such celebrations would take place simultaneously as implied, is next to nil… especially since the Alliance couldn’t, and probably wouldn’t confirm the Emperor’s demise until command debriefed Luke about what had transpired in the Emperor’s throne room. Considering his joyful reunion with Leia, Han and everyone else takes place on the forest moon, it’s highly doubtful Luke ever made it back to Home One for that debriefing. Chances are no one outside of the battle would know what had transpired until sometime later.

And citizens of the Empire toppling statues of the Emperor on Coruscant? Equally unlikely. We’re talking about the epicenter of the entire Empire, the very seat of Imperial power. Even if citizens knew of, and wanted to celebrate the Emperor’s death, they wouldn’t have done so that soon; Imperial troops would have summarily cut any such celebrations down, refusing to believe that Palpatine was dead.

One scene even seems to show celebrations on Tatooine, likely Mos Eisely or Mos Espa. This is perhaps the most unrealistic display of them all; Tatooine is an Outer Rim world, controlled by the Hutts, with a minimal Imperial presence at best. News of the Empire’s demise in the most wretched hive of scum and villainy would have been met with little more than a shrug before the rogues, scoundrels, scavengers and pirates played their next hand of Sabacc.

We get that you had a grandiose vision, George, but your vision was a little short sighted on this one. If Disney could just rustle up some remastered cuts of the original trilogy before the Special Edition additions?

Now, that would be cause for celebration.

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