“What a piece of junk!”
Even young Luke didn’t need to use The Force to see what a hunk of junk the Millennium Falcon was. Look, the YT-1300f light freighter is a good starship. Unfortunately, that’s equivalent to saying a limited edition SUV with no replacement parts, accompanied with several mechanical and electrical problems is top-of-the-line. It’s a good ship; it’s not a great ship.
**Warning: ‘Solo’ Spoilers Ahead**
“Might want to buckle up baby!”
From Star Wars: Rogue Squadron on the N64 to the most recent Star Wars: Battlefront II, the Millennium Falcon has always been an undesirable ship to fly. It always felt clunky and the turning radius sucks.
Although we finally got to see the infamous 12-parsec Kessel Run in Solo: A Star Wars Story, it’s also still pretty damn slow. For those that have seen ‘Solo’, didn’t you see how it barely made it out, evading the Imperial blockade? Sure, Han points out that it goes “0.5 past light-speed” in A New Hope. I’m sure he was just referring that one time they injected a bit of that coaxium to evade the gravity well of the Maelstrom. The only appealing part about ever choosing the Millennium Falcon in any of these video games was that it was an iconic ship with quad laser cannons.
Millennium Falcon: Party of 5, Ghost of 1
If you’ve paid close attention, it really takes five people to efficiently run the Millennium Falcon in the heat of a battle: two pilots, two people on separate turrets, and hopefully a character like R2-D2 or Tobias Beckett putting out fires or fixing the ever-so-broken hyperdrive. Also, why is the damn hyperdrive always malfunctioning?!
May the Force be with Rey and Chewie. From the cockpit, they’re limited to firing concussion missiles and a ground blaster. Without Finn or someone else running one of the guns, tactical evasion is their best line of defense. Furthermore, where has L3-37 been post-‘Solo‘?? Did Han, Chewie, and Lando just forget she was integrated into the ship, not bothering to pass the word to Rey? Alas, while L3 liberated the droids on Kessel, she left becoming a slave to the pilots, embodied in her own ship. Might as well re-name the ship to Slave IX! Le sigh!
The Phantom Blemish
Speaking of evasion, are there no replacement parts for this ship? Apparently the Falcon didn’t always have a tuning fork for a nose. In ‘Solo‘, Lando gripes about Han ejecting the escape pod to distract the deep space cephalopod. In all the years of ownership, was Han just negligent about replacing that escape pod, or did the Corellian Engineering Corporation discontinue it? I don’t know the odds of survival without one of these pods, but it’s a worse gamble than a rigged game of sabbacc, if you ask me. Needless to say, Han managed without one.
The Best Insignificant Pilot in the Galaxy
If Han managed to survive piloting the Millennium Falcon, does that truly make him a good pilot? In ‘Solo‘, his M.O., just like Anakin and Luke, is to become the best pilot in the galaxy. Comparatively, how does he stack up to them?
In The Phantom Menace, Anakin hi-jacks a Naboo starfighter and destroys the Federation’s Droid Control Ship. Luke in A New Hope, single-handedly flew in the trenches of the Death Star and fired two proton torpedoes into an exhaust port, causing an explosion in the reactor. Even Lando and Nien Nunb were key players in blowing up the Death Star II in Return of the Jedi. Other than coming back to shoot some TIE fighters on Luke’s tail, he’s achieved nothing medal-worthy as a pilot. Poe Dameron has shown more as a pilot in two movies than Han ever has in four.
One might argue that he strived to be the best pilot and not the best fighter pilot – but what does that even mean? That’s like saying you’re going to be the best driver, but not the best racer. What’s the point? Even if he didn’t make it three years into the Imperial Academy, why wouldn’t he have opted to pilot an X-Wing when he continued with the Rebellion? Maybe he was a good pilot for the mere fact he was able to fly that piece of crap, but a coward for not stepping it up to be an X-Wing or A-Wing pilot.
What’s in a name?
Finally, where did the Millennium Falcon even get its name? Where are there falcons in the galaxy where Corellia resides? I hope the same Imperial officer that came up with Han’s last name didn’t name the ship.
People might think this is the “Jar Jar Binks” of opinions, but you go enjoy building that $800, 7,541-piece Millennium Falcon Lego set. It’s just like your ideas of Han and the Falcon – fragile.