Now, that Solo: A Star Wars Story is a financial hit, it’s time to look towards the next episode in what is destined to be a series of stand alone, character based, Star wars movies. I’ve compiled a list to the most interesting characters and stories that can surely not be ignored by the Disney-overlords of all our favorite fandoms. Surely.
1) CHEWBACCA: A STAR WARS STORY – “Kashyyyk Bound”
Yes, he is in the Solo: A Star Wars Story… but what happened in between that and Revenge of the Sith? I’m talking a Chewbacca movie without Han or any other mainstream Star Wars characterS… hell, maybe no dialogue! Just Wookie growls and howls! It’ll be like Benji or Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey, but with Wookies and various other non-english speaking alien races. We’ll follow Chewie as he has to escape the empire after order 66, reunite an Ewok with his family, and make his way home. Great for the whole family!
But really, there is a great Chewbacca story in there somewhere.
2) LOBOT: A STAR WARS STORY – “Tatooine Drift”
Lobot, the sideman of Lando from Empire Strikes Back has always been a fan favorite. How about a story about a young mop haired Lobot as an up and coming street racer trying to make it to the big Gran Prix in Cloud City, full of action packed Pod, spaceship, and speeder bike races, chases, and heists. And only one man is bold and bald enough to capture the essence of this computer headed hero…Vin Diesel. Come on… you know you want to see this.
3) VADER: A STAR WARS STORY
Ever since Rogue 1, brought Vader back as a figure to be feared this project has to have been in the works. Set immediately after Revenge of the Sith, we follow this dark figure as he becomes the scourge of the galaxy by cutting a swath of death and destruction as he hunts down the last of the Jedi. A horror movie that follows the villain would be bad-ass. If you’ve read the new Darth Vader comic from Marvel, you know this is very do-able.
4) TAG & BINK: A STAR WARS STORY
Ron Howard teased their appearance in Solo: A Star Wars Story, and if you don’t know these guys, they are the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern of the Star Wars universe; always in the wrong place at the right time. A pure comedy set around 2 knuckleheads just trying to survive as they find themselves behind the scenes and in the background of from every great Star Wars moment. Rebel Soldiers who dress as Storm troopers to escape the attack on Princess Leah’s ship find themselves on a transport to the doomed death star. They escape before Luke can destroy the planet-sized space station only to find themselves on cloud city, then Endor, than… you get it… A bumbling buddy comedy!
5) CAPTAIN PHASMA: A STAR WARS STORY
‘bout time we got some women on this list?! Am I right, ladies!?! Captain Phasma was probably the most under used character in the history of film. Great look, great actor, great set-up, no payoff. As an apology, Disney needs to just give her own movie. How did she get the silver armor and rise through the ranks to be a side note in a mediocre film?! In the book she hunts spies, that might be cool, just do something with this character, you owe the fans that much.
6) AKBAR: A STAR WARS STORY – “It’s a Trap”
Speaking of character who didn’t get their due. One of the biggest complaints about Last Jedi was the lame death they gave to Admiral Akbar. In this film, shot in the last few seconds of Akbar’s life, we rewind through a fish-eye lens and watch his story unfold as he joins the military, becomes an Admiral, and earns his rank through combat, intelligence, and strategy. This film is a heartfelt and deserving tribute to a great leader and war hero.
Fuck you, Last Jedi.
7) BOBA FETT: A STAR WARS STORY
Oh, Come on… you know they are going to do it. Even if it wasn’t rumored that this is the next one… Boba Fett is one of the most popular characters of all time. So, yeah… might as well be on this list. I just want to see Boba drink a boba.
8) KENOBI: A STAR WARS STORY
Well, if we’re doing Boba than we have to go with the other rumored movie, Kenobi. Whatever this movie is about, I’m calling it now. It will end with a dance off. You’ll see.
9) JABBA: A STAR WARS STORY – “The Huttfather”
How did a young, thin and fit, Hutt get to be the large and in-charge Jabba we all know and are grossed out by? How did he meet Salacious B. Crumb and what does the B 6tand for? Imagine Disney pulls out al the stops and offers a dump truck full of money to Francis Ford Coppola and he makes the greatest Space-mobster movie of all time. Betrayal, drama, Al Pacino, Robert De Niro… who wouldn’t pay to see that?!?!
10) GONK GONK: A STAR WARS STORY
Do droids have a soul? Why can’t a droid use the force or be a Jedi? Even if it really really really wants to?! A simple drama about a droid looking to be more than the sum of its parts as it learns about the force and yearns to be a Jedi. Like Wall-E, but with lightsabers.
11) ORGANA: A STAR WARS STORY – “The Alderaanian Candidate”
Two words. Jimmy Smits. Oh yeah. That guy. As Senator Bail Organa, Jimmy boy gets caught up in political intrigue and fatherhood of a young impetuous teenager. Like Mr.Mom meets House of Cards. If anyone can pull of the drive and seriousness of politics and the warmth and fear of fatherhood with a willful child… it’s Smits. Jimmy Smits.
12) WINDU: A STAR WARS STORY
We know that he was once apart of the dark side, turned to the light and no one plays good bad boys better than Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson!!! As a young Mace and we… well, who the fuck cares… The Rock + Lightsaber = blockbuster. Now, we’re printing money!!!
13) JADE: A STAR WARS STORY
Let’s get back to some long over-due recognition. Mara Jade is one of the most popular and best written (most of the time) extended Star Wars Universe characters. She deserves her own movie. We don’t need the whole Luke’s lover thing as she can clearly stand on her own… just pick one of her MANY stories as a jumping off point and go.
14) WEDGE: A STAR WARS STORY
While we’re back on the characters who deserve the movie kick… Wedge Antilles. One of the best pilots of the republic, we follow a young, angry kid going from space battle to space battle trying to drown out his past. Am I right?!
15) WREN: A STAR WARS STORY
She’s my favorite character in all of Star Wars. A bad-ass, graffiti artist, Mandalorian Warrior. This shit writes itself, man. Get Banksy to direct this… or at least set design it. Come on, you guys! Do this for me!!! Please!?!
16) ICE CREAM GUY: A STAR WARS STORY – “The Willrow Hood Story”
Have you read this guy’s Wiki page? He’s the true hero of the republic and therefore I submit to you the greatest star wars movie ever. A lover, a spy, a hero, The Willrow Hood Story.