Imgurian SexyAbeLincoln dropped us some real facts on who Rey’s parents must be….. and i got to say….. im sold!
I’ve seen a lot of fan theories on here since Episode Seven, but after taking like five handfuls of opiates and watching Return of the Jedi seven times I’ve figured it out.
Rey is Kylo Ren’s Sister.
BUT SHE’S NOT HAN’S DAUGHTER
Remember this asshole?
This is Leia, Rey and Kylo Ren’s mother. But Han didn’t fertilize that. His pull out game is way too strong. But I know what you’re asking. “If Rey isn’t the product of the sweaty loin grinding of a bikini-clad princess and marauding stallion of a loose-cannon smuggler, then who is the father?” Well prepare yourselves. Because it’s…
That’s right. Wicket. The ass-kicking Ewok, and secret Jedi master, that we never saw coming. “But when did Leia do Furry Scurry with Wicket’s Harry Larry?” you ask.
Remember this scene?
Leia: “arent u a little short to be a stormtrooper?” Widget: “stfu I hav the high ground” Leia: “omg this is so us.”
Now that we’ve established that Widget and Leia clearly did the nasty in the pasty, here’s three completely irrefutable reasons why this theory is the truth.
1: The Stick
In several scenes in Return of the Jedi, Widget can be seen clearly holding a stick as a weapon
The Stick Awakens
In The Force Awakens, Rey occasionally also holds a stick in an obvious homage to her father.
2. The Head Scarf
In this scene, Widget can be seen clearly wearing a head scarf. Note how it covers his head and is also a scarf.